Chris & Ians Just Back Report 2007

Hi guys this is going to be pretty ‘ to the bone!’ as am jetlagged, half drunk and a bit worse for wear!!!!

Okay here goes

Me and Ian got hitched on the 23/3 fab day, great friends and a hellava lot of drink! Pics soon on website, managed to get rid of hungover relatives on the day we were due to fly and headed of courtesy of mum and dad cabs to Heathrow.

Arrived, headed for business class EVA check in and managed to stop going white and shaking enough to get through the formalities! Got access to the London lounge at T3 and had 3 hours to kill so first stop, TGI for burger and beer (thought would be the last time I had junk food…………so wrong!) the into the lounge to spend 3 more hours drinking ourselves into a pre-flight coma and generally having a bloody good time!

Boarded the plane (777-300er) got settled seats were spacious and lovely, got a pre flight OJ and water a hot towel and took off, had a lovely meal and spent the next 12 hours drinking , laughing about the night before and looking forward to our 5th time in Bangkok,

YAY! Touchdown! Bit of a bumpy flight! Got a swift transfer to the Shangri-la and checked in! Room was lovely but did look like Liberace had just exploded in it!!! The new airport is also an experience! Wire poking out in the loo floors and wet luggage! (It wasn’t even raining!) Opened the balcony door and WOOMPH! Bugger me! The heat was extreme! We’ve been to Bangkok 5 times now and this was the hottest we’ve ever experienced! Anyway! Checked the mini-bar and room service prices and in true Shangri-la style you need to sell a kidney on eBay to live like a king!

Headed straight out via BTS to cabbages and condoms and had and singha, chang and curry fest, the food was great , beer ice cold and the venue a trip down memory lane for us.

The next 4 nights were very similar, sunbathed at the krungthep wing pool for a few hours in the morning till we couldn’t move! Went back to the room had a few waters to rehydrate and headed off out round the city for shopping and eats. The heat really was very intense at this time of year! Coming out of Siam paragon and walking past the BTS and across the road I thought my head would explode! LOL!

We did venture out by boat from Thapskin (?) boat station up the river to the Sirivaj hospital, the heat was extreme and I was beyond soaked by the time we found the museum of forensic science. Absolutely superb, though gut churning, be warned this place is not for the feint hearted or weak stomached. The tsunami exhibit was truly horrific and the bodies etc preserved again pretty macabre, but bear in mind this is a place designed for medical students, we found it interesting and it was good to get off the beaten tourist trail, had a quick look round the hospital grounds and were both impressed, nurses immaculately turned out the the place spotless even in 45deg heat! The u k could learn a thing or two!



Anyway next stop Phuket (Hilton karon), flight un-eventful, landed and got a taste of things to come, the most jaded, rude and generally unapproachable drive ever , who after asking me if I was tired and motion sick then pumped the brakes at most junctions to make the car bunny hop! This accompanied by the fact he had a car too small to pick us up which couldn’t hold the cases in the boot! (So they were tied in with string sticking out over the road) wasn’t making for the best of starts!

After arriving at The Hilton Phuket , he chucked the cases out then stuck his hand out waiting for a tip! (Like being in Egypt!) where has the thai smile gone!?! We thought!
Anyway not wanting bad karma etc gave him a tip and proceeded to the check in!

GAH! Next stop Hilton/ tourism/ money making hell! They messed our booking up, to cut a long story short the was a lot of us being polite saying ‘ I know what you computer says but this is what we booked , this is what we paid for here is our tickets/ receipts etc’, with the now duty manager politely saying, “ you are not VIP’s not Hilton Platinum members” and “if you had read the small print you would have seen a get out clause!”….. okay so far not so good!

Both sat in our room overlooking what seemed to be a cross between and UK housing estate and benidorm wondering what was going to happen next, Ian phoned the Asia rep and then the UK and Hilton line, 10 minutes later a phone call from the manager, stating he would honour our booking as he had a phone call from Hilton head office.


Anyway, the room was nice and the sea looked very calm and blue, headed off for a walk to stock up on essentials i.e. vodka , cigs, whisky and nibbles both seemed a bit more relaxed! The next 14 nights we’re pretty similar. The restaraunts around the karon area weren’t imho of the best standard, we found a pretty good one out the hotel to the right with decent prices, beef and lemongrass to die for and ice cold singha! Nice touch!

Now re the Hilton! If you want a lay in and a day round the pool forget it! The place seems to have a serious shortage of sunbeds and a serious case of towels on loungers by 7am! By 830 half the beds are ‘reserved!’ and by 10am youll be lucky to find anywhere aside from a towel on the concrete! I’m no snob but it seemed to me the mostly Russian and german clientele were some of the rudest, finger clicking, loud drunk and obnoxious guests we had ever encountered! After a few days of rushing breakfast and running to the pool we had were starting to feel like we were in the Olympics and not on holiday!

Booked a couple of trips, one quick half day tour of island, James bond island by boat and simon cabaret!

Heres where our holiday took a rapid change for the better! On the half day tour we met up with two couples from Australia who we had a really good laugh with, at the end of the tour did the usual, have a good hols see you around etc…….. That night me and Ian headed into Karon and had a lovely meal at the Chilli and Shell, after leaving full of curry and heavily beered up I staggered into the tattooist and had a look at his work, suddenly a voice shouted out ‘ DON’T DO IT! ‘ it was Shelly and Rod two of the four we had met earlier, we all went for beers and next thing it was 1am, all absolutely blotto and sat in some dodgy reggae bare! Fabulous! This set the scene for the rest of the hols really! We went to the beach, sunbathed and more often than not ended up in extended drinking sessions with the four guys and gals from oz.

James bond island was a great but long day, was nice to see if but had to laugh at the pushy tackarama shops that had sprung up on the island and the fake rock toilets! The day ended up on the beach after a cruise by boat back, having a singha and floating in the water.lovely!
Jax! Youll be pleased to know that Ian and me ventured into Patong……….OMG! a cross between benidorm, Oktoberfest and butlins was the only way I could describe it! After wandering down Soi Bangla through the swathes of Thomson Holiday bag wearing drunk brits, we headed off to the paradise complex, to the the flying handbag! (guess the name gives it away as not being exactly the butchest of places!) beer was ice cold and we sat people watching for a couple of hours before heading back to Karon in a torrential rainstorm!

Woke up feeling like my head and internal organs had been removed by aliens during the night and realised that as I had slept in till 9am we would have to goto the beach to lay in the sun and the sunloungers would be gone! I quick check out the balcony confirmed this, towels hats, books and prosthetic limbs everywhere! Damn!

Again had a fairly beery curry fuelled day! Got dumped up the beach by an enormous wave on karon beach much to ians amusement and got a txt from Rod, Shelly, Mel and Reece saying it looked like rain and was therefore ‘ Beer O’ Clock’ , again another night on the tiles, then off to simon cabaret!

Hurrah! Much campness! Was quite impressed by the scale of the thing, bless the short one that had to wear huge platform heels to match the size of the rest of the girls!

Headed back to Karon afters and spent the night in the bizarre girly bar (safety in numbers) people watching and in disbelief of the rudeness and disrespectfulness of some of the guys waving money at the girls……….gah!

Onto our last night, with a 5am pick up we didn’t want a late one! Songkhran seemed to have started early on the 12th On karon so we sat in BAR44 drinking singha with our friends and ended up buying water guns, hid them under the table and then squirted known offenders of the towels on sunbeds debacle whilst they were walking past! Then hiding the guns and pretending to play connect 4! It was very childish but great great fun!

Were both quite tipsy by 11 and said said goodbyes to our new friends knowing that if we hadn’t of met them would certainly wouldn’t have had such a good time on our hols.
Pick up was the same driver! GAH!!! Again cases hanging out of boot! He then reversed into the gate at the Hilton and drove us full pelt to the airport mostly on the wrong side of the road and seemingly without any knowledge of brakes and gears!

Flight back to BKK was okay, had to wait 45 mins for check in to open to had a look round, our bags had been checked through at Phuket to LHR, after checking in (yay business class!) made our way to the lounge and proceeded to get completely tiddly to help with pre flight nerves! Quick flick round shops for more cigs, orchids for mother and new mother in law! And a few sachets of curry sauce that you know you’lll never use on the uk but seem like a good idea when you’ve had a few!

So glad you are home safe and sound loved the report. what do you think of the cost of things?

__________________
Kiss
God laughs at people who make plans.

Ello hun! just had mum and dad round for sunday roast and as they left after watching the home vid etc fet a real twinge of sadness, post hol blues i spose etc etc and jetlag etc

Cost wise, very expensive for what it was. Overrated and overpriced was how ian put it!

Off to have a long soak and a bottle or two of cava......................


god i wish i was back in bangkok.............. hawker food, genuine people, nice attitude....................
gah

Just opened a nice bottle of shiraz meself

__________________
Kiss
God laughs at people who make plans.

Loved your JBR Ian... it made a great read as you tell a good tale and I look forward to seeing your pics.
Cheers Geri

Great read and brings back so many memories of Bangkok. Must try the forensic museum next year as I haven't heard of it before and terry just luuurves gruesome stuff!

We haven't been to Phuket and most things I read on the forum convince me not to bother.

Anyway, glad most of it went well - what will you be doing next year as an encore!!!!

Hopefully australia! With probably a stopver in bangkok! LOL!

Will keep you posted!

But in the future we may goto northern thailand and then onto vietnam/ cambodia

Cj