Hope I do not bore everyone silly - but here goes - I have been to Thailand now about 10-12 times and each time I go I get increasingly more inclined not to make the journey home - well back here as I now consider Thailand my home - anyway to the story

Heather and I were sitting in a hotel on Wenclaslas Sq in Praugue just chatting on July 4th 2005 - I had booked us a weekend away for her birthday as a suprise - it had just been announced that Man City were to do a pre-season tourney in Thailand, jokingly I asked do you want to go (hoping she would say yes before I told her we would have to leave the following day as soon as we arrived back in N Ireland) but her answer was a straight no - her excuse "I will get bird flu" I went to the bar a bit dejected it must have shown because when I arrived back with the drinks she said "why don't you go you won't get another chance" - that became the understatement on the millenium - my face lit up and I could not wait to get back to NI to make plans to leave again straight away.

When I arrrived home I was on the computer before the kettle had boiled looking up flights - I rang my mate in Manchester who I knew would be going but to my dismay he had already left - so I rang another on the off chance that he was going and could give me some short cuts as to where to book etc etc - he was leaving that night but said if you can find your way to the Mandarin Hotel on Rama IV we have a spare room as he had booked for himself his wife and son wanting only one room but they gave him two as there were three in the party so I had a hotel - my mates were flying from manchester and london respectively and I was in NI so I just searched the internet until I found a flight with Thai Airways leaving heathrow the following day and I could book it for £495 it was duly booked - now could I get a flight to heathrow you guessed it not at the right times so I went on standby and got a flight with BMI out of belfast city with no time to spare - Phil was on his way to the land of smiles and was knackered before he left - just made the Thai airways check-in in time - are you on your own sir said the nice looking Thai behind the counter - I replied that I was and she said would you mind sitting at the emergancy exit with more leg room to help me out - already I liked the Thais and I was still in london - the flight over was good with lots of food and beverage and the kind of service only a Thai knows how to give - plenty of things to watch on my own little screen on the seat in front of me took a book with me and never read a page (which as it turns out is a running theme with me in Thailand next time I am not taking one ) The plane arrived on time after 12 hours at the old BKK airport - where on passing one of the money changing booths realised I had been ripped off in Heathrow luckily I had only changed £100 just to have some Baht - the first thing I ran into was a barrage of thais offering me taxis - being first time naive and not speaking any Thai I agreed to the 900 baht to the hotel thinking thats cheap (about £13.50 at the time ) plus I paid the tolls - I now know of course to go get the metered cabs and even better go to departures and get a taxi thats dropping off.

Anyway I was in my cab and away and of course first time there was looking out the window the whole time to see anything of intrest - I have to be honest my first impressions on Bangkok were not good I was thinking dirty scruffy etc people walking around with smog masks on dingy shacks to live in - traffic was horrendous etc etc - what have I let myself in for I thought - of course I need not have worried as this first impression was of course not right - I arrived at my hotel and was greeted by the footmen carrying my bags - anything we can do for you sir - we help you check in etc etc - I found my friend and quite a few others that I was not expecting in the same hotel - it was like being in Manchester for a match except they were all around a swimming pool in 35deg heat in shorts a T shirts having a singha so I joined in of course - my friend who had kindly got me the room then said we are off to patpong in a hour you coming - not knowing what he ment by patpong I of course said yes let go - so phil had arrived in Bangkok and was about to be let lose on an unuspecting patpong ..............to be continued

My first impression hit as I deplaned.

Back in the 90's, 2-cycle motorcycles were quite common. I remember stepping out, at midnight, in April, into 35º heat, 90% humidity, overwhelmed by the smell of 2-cycle oil. I thought I had arrived in Hell!

Hi Phil,
Really enjoying the tale, now don't leave us in suspense too long!!!
Michelle

You might be interested to know that Rama IV Road was actually a klong when I first visited in the late 1960s. We stayed in a hotel/motel called the "The Florida", which still evokes surrrealistic memories of another time and place.

part 2


well I am back from England and a fruitful trip is was 4-2 at Chelsea what a result



so to get back to the story - I boarded my first tuktuk along with my friend his wife and son and headed for patpong that was experience on its own you never ever forget your first tuktuk - weaving in and out of traffic up between cars waiting at lights with millimetres to spare etc - anyway we arrived at patpong and I paid the driver 100 baht (I know I know its a 20/30 baht ride but my excuse is I had just arrived and that was £1.30 how was I to know) - we were dropped off just outside 7/11 and opposite what I now know is lady boy street - we mistakenly took it for patpong and headed in that direction - I took one look at it and said there is no way I am going down there esp. with a 12 year old in tow - so we went across the street for something to eat and found a nice little place just off the main road - the guys I was with are into spicy food etc so I should have been reluctant to let them order but as they were 2 day olds in BKK and I was about 3 hours I submitted - I was told its nice soup with chicken and pork in ok give it a go me thinks - OMG Tam Yam (sp) is bloody hot and its my one and only attempt without telling them to spice down that is

Whilst in the eatery we were talking to a couple of guys who pointed us in the right direction of patpong and informed us there were two PP1 and PP2 and how best to get round the two and see the “sights” - so we set off - going down PP2 then across to PP1 and back up to arrive back at tuktuk capitol - I was amazed and mesmerised at the sights sounds and smells - the overwhelming humidity and cramped spaces these people can operate in - you could not walk more than a few feet without being asked did you want sex - a suit - glow in the dark things - large Zippo lighters - t shirts - watches - fakes of every kind - etc etc I got stung for the afore mentioned Zippo and some glow in the dark thinks that you could squash into new shapes and faces - and BKK t shirt - and a fan - typical tourist - I actual believe the Thais can smell fresh meat ready for the taking - you live and learn

Anyway this was all thirsty work and we needed a drink so we stopped at one of the bars in the middle of PP1 as we did not want to go inside any of the “bars” “clubs” with a 12 year old we had a few beers and the obligatory salted and spiced nibbles and a few games of connect 4 all designed of course to keep you drinking and in their bar - the inevitable happened and our youngest reveller wants to go to the loo so we asked at the bar - to my dread they pointed at the girlie bar which was of course theirs also - anyway if ya gotta go as the saying goes as I was cross legged also I volunteered to take our youngun to the loo and run the gauntlet - my first experience of one of these “clubs” and we had to walk right past the stage to get to the loo so whilst steering my young companion and shielding him from the view as best I could we headed into the place - it was kind of sad as there a few guys in there having a drink and less with girls with them buying the odd drink for company and later maybe pay the bar fine (found out later) the girls on the ~”stage” did not look like they wanted to be there gyrating slowly in various forms of undress and some looked doped - so not really a turn on more a turn off as far as I was concerned - I might add that by patpong standards it was early as it was still only 9.30pm - when we returned from our experience I told his mother and father and of course she said to him “you hold it till we get back” - I then spotted a fat 50-60 year old ugly looking woman sitting across the bar counting the biggest bundle of notes I had ever seen in two hands and girls were queuing up to give her more - I assumed she ran the place and later found out she did and was quite ruthless and charged the girls to “perform” and use her bar etc etc - so our first night was over I was very tired having a touch of jetlag it was 10.30pm and we needed to be up early next day to source tickets for the matches we had come to see and find the stadium - so we headed back to the hotel - but this time we used two tuktuks and the drivers agreed that whoever got there first was to get 100 baht if you came second you got zip - now that was an experience we were flying down alleys cutting corners knocking over dustbins etc etc at what seemed like a crazy pace but I am sure the wind factor had something to do with that - we paid both drivers as we had had such a laugh - so I arrived back in the hotel where I have yet to see my room and unpack - but before I could get into the lift we were waylaid by some more unexpected friends from Manchester wanting a drink before bed so as we could not get away we joined in the young lad and mum went to bed - I just wish I had been stronger and done the same as I still do not know what time I actually went but in the morning it felt like I had only slept and hour or two - so my first day in BKK is over and I am left with mixed feelings - some things had shocked - some had me feeling sick to honest - but I had also managed to have fun and I had a strange feeling of belonging which I could not explain and did not make me feel any better at the time so off to bed for an early start for day one of the Asia Cup where we were to play the Thai national team …….. But that will have to wait ………………………….

first night patpong - it was a bad beard month - never had a beard before and was shaved off on return to uk never to return

I remember the first time I went to Patpong. Between the sights and the heat it was overwhelming but found a few quieter spots the next time I went and really liked it. We somehow ended up in the gay part of Patpong where we had some nice meals and relaxed over drinks without being constantly hassled to buy things whether it be t-shirts or sex! We were the only straight couple there but were made to feel very welcome and the service was really friendly.

part 3

I was woken to sound of my door nearly caving in - “come on Phil brekkie” “you’re gonna miss it” - and I did - another theme on my first trip there - when they finally got me out of bed we headed downstairs and asked about where to get tickets and how to get to the ground we were told we could buy tickets at the ground and the best way was by hailing a cab and not to use the hotel limo service or the guys hanging around outside the hotel and make sure the driver turned on the meter - as it turned out the ground was about 18km away so off we jolly well went - to my amazement the taxi cost 130 baht at the time about £1.80 for 18km which took an hour

Again on the way there I was checking out the view from the cab only this time I was thinking these guys are very resourceful - you would notice Thais trying to sell the flowers for Buddha to hang in the car they could transport almost anything on a moped including 3 adults and six kids - a bale of hay - a wooden cellar - etc - they were selling things at the side of the road they had made from coke tins - bottle tops - bits of old wood - there were signs for laundries everywhere - nothing was going to waste - and slowly but surely I was beginning to think - you know its not dirty its just untidy or unorganised - then I realised it was really organised chaos - then how clever these people were - left to our own devices in the west most of would try for a while and fail claim government money or simply die - they guys were not only surviving everything life threw at them they were SMILING through it - welcome Phil to the land of smiles.

Anyway we arrived at the stadium and since I had missed breakfast I went straight away to the nearest stall selling what looked like sausages on a stick and bought a bag full to share - as I bit into the first one a taxi pulled up and the window was wound down and a voice shouted “Phil” it was only my friend who I had tried to contact before leaving the UK who had already left it was one of those find a needle in a haystack moments - out of millions of people in BKK he managed to find even though he did not know I was there - the rest of the day was absolutely brilliant the Thais know how to hold a tournament there were beer tents and food tents everywhere also souvenir shops etc - we had arrived at about 1045am for a 6.45pm KO so a lot of drink and food a lot of craic with all the fans there - one of the best days I have ever had as a football supporter we were enjoying it so much we decided not to watch the game before ours between Everton and Bolton and stay outside and mix with the locals - we met some great people - I gave a woman collecting tin cans 100 baht in my naivety I thought she worked for the stadium only after did I learn they were to sell on as scrap or to use to make trinkets - we met a crowd of young Thais all marching in a line with the same T Shirts on going to the game they just loved posing for photos with us - the game itself was **** we drew with the Thai team - then headed back to the hotel for some eats and a few more beers before bed - I still had not unpacked I was living out my suitcase day two was over and I was really beginning to enjoy Thailand - we had not yet made plans for the following day but I did not care in fact I did not have a care in the world - it felt at the time like I was falling in love and since this has been borne out - I am now in love with Thailand so five days left before having to go back and already I was thinking maybe I won’t want to go back………..
More to follow will try to keep it up each day but may miss the odd one this is going to be very very long as you can see this is trip one of ten at least so bare with me ………………………

us with the kids

3 of the young Thai players