We set off early in the morning leaving Nong Khai at 8am, took a tuk-tuk to the Friendship Bridge over the Mekhong River and entered Laos. As an Australian my visa-on-arrival cost me USD $30, plus there was an extra $1 fee, which I believe is a weekend surcharge. There's a money changer right next to the immigration counter where you can buy USD to pay for the Lao VOA, however, I had already purchased mine a few days earlier from a bank in Nong Khai. Then for 200 Baht we found a comfortable AC van to take us the 20KM trip into downtown Vientiane. Around 9:30am we jumped off at the fountain (Nam Phu in Thai/Lao) which is pretty much the center of town. We had spent a week in Vientiane only 3 months previous so we weren't particularly interested in staying a night or two and decided to head off straight away. After I compared prices at a couple of travel agents we boarded a 10:30am bus departure to Vang Vieng.

Vang Vieng is 153 KM north of Vientiane on the road to Luang Prabang, which takes about 4 hours, and cost us 50,000 Kip (200 Baht) each for the fare on an AC bus. At the time of this trip the exchange rate fluctuated between 240-250 Kip for 1 Thai Baht. In Laos you will be quoted prices in Kip and Baht and sometimes in US dollars too. Although Baht is accepted everywhere we found it less confusing to change your Baht into Kip at the nearest money changer and dispense with making constant conversions. Vang Vieng is a strange place, a backpacker haven sitting in the middle of nowhere. There are only 2 possible reasons for going there: to participate in the Nam Som river rafting, tubing, plus caving and jungle trekking that are the area's prime attractions; or to just break the lengthy journey between Vientiane and Luang Prabang, which was our reason. There are plenty of young Khao San Road type freaks getting around Vang Vieng and we saw a couple running near-naked and noisily around the streets, guess they had had more than their fair share of the dope and other drugs that abound in Vang Vieng. We also couldn't help but notice how bad many of these younger travelers smelt, their armpit odors could knock a polecat flat on its back from 30 paces away. What's their excuse? All the guest-houses have attached bathrooms, towels and small cakes of soap are provided free. I'll never work it out. Guess some folk just enjoy walking around ponging like pigs. The truth is I hate people who smell bad. You rarely find a Thai, a Lao, or any Asian for that matter, with BO, but so many Farang do, whether they're on holiday in Thailand or Laos or back in Perth doing their shopping, I seem to come across so many with powerful BO, which means they have risen that morning and gone out without first bathing. Some years ago I had the unpleasant task of informing one of the teachers on my staff (an Englishman) that he bad BO and needed to take frequent baths. He replied that he did bath frequently, he had a shower every 3 days.

We found the food a tad expensive in Vang Vieng (also in Luang Prabang) with the average price of a one-dish meal being 25,000 kip (100 Baht) in my opinion that's a bit much to pay for a pat thai or a fried rice, as either of those dishes cost 30-50 Baht in Thailand. I raised this point several times with the Lao waiters at various restaurants we dined at - "Come on, you guys don't pay 100 Baht for a fried rice or noodles, so what's the deal here?" Obviously these prices have been set for foreigners, the average Lao just couldn't afford them, so I guess the Lao have their own little cheap places that are tucked away. When it comes to comparing the cost of living/traveling between Laos and Thailand it is our conclusion that food is cheaper, cleaner and superior in Thailand, beer costs much the same but while Beer Lao is pretty good we felt the Thai beers are superior, accommodation costs are much the same too, and transportation seemed slightly more expensive in Laos. There isn't any public transport in the towns/cities that I became aware of, so that left walking or tuk-tuks and the latter generally wanted 20,000 Kip minimum (about 80 Baht) for very short rides that would probably cost 50 Baht in a Bangkok meter taxi. So all in all Thailand offers its tourists better value for money. We spent the night in one of the town's mid-range guest-houses, the room was plain, but had AC, cable TV, a large bathroom, and cost about 450 Baht. I had visited Vang Vieng once before in 2005 and 3 years later I found it mostly unchanged except the roads were now sealed, previously they were either red dust or red mud depending on the season, otherwise the same backpackers are still sitting in the same restaurants, eating the same overpriced dishes and still watching endless re-runs of "Friends" on DVD. If (like us) you have no interest in the river, white-water rafting and jungle activities there's really no reason to stop at Vang Vieng, you're probably better pushing through to Luang Prabang. Some may recommend going there for the scenery of the surrounding Karst country, which is beautiful indeed but it's the same scenery all the way to Luang Prabang and beyond so you won't miss anything. Furthermore, if you've already been to Thailand's Krabi or Viet Nam's Halong Bay, then you've seen superior Karsts. By the way, when I was at Vang Vieng this latest trip I read that the huge tarmac where the buses stop, adjacent to Vang Vieng town, was a former airstrip used during the Indochina war.

We spent our one evening in Vang Vieng hopping around a few bars and restaurants knocking down cold cans of Beer Lao. Next morning we took a mini-van (120,000 Kip or 500 Baht) to Luang Prabang. This is a tiring journey and takes 7 hours to cover a couple hundred kilometers, so that gives you some idea of the slow speeds these buses and vans travel at, but atleast the route takes you through some stunning scenery, especially the wide rolling green mountains between Kasi and Luang Prabang. When I previously did this bus journey in 2005 I remember being totally knocked out by the views as we went over the Luang Prabang mountain range, and I was eagerly watching out for these same vistas this trip, but unfortunately the seasons were different and clouds blocked the views of many deep valleys. We were met by touts at the Luang Prabang bus station and after I saw the pretty pictures on the Shayada Guest House brochure we decided to head there. We got a ground floor room with AC, cable TV, attached bathroom, hot water, it was nicely furnished, and about a 10 minute walk from the main drag and the night market, all for 400 Baht. We stayed there 3 nights and enjoyed it, however, we had an unfortunate experience on the 3rd and final night when the Lao boys who worked at the guest house had a couple of their mates over in the evening and got stuck into a noisy whisky drinking session. After 3 requests for less noise, I finally blew my top just before midnight and that ended their session but it was a pity I had to stress myself out on the final night of an otherwise very peaceful stay at Luang Prabang. Despite this one upset I found the Lao to be far less noisy than their cousins to the South. I've now made 3 trips through the country and have never once come across people setting up "ghetto blasters" in public or opening the doors of their parked cars and using their car stereo systems to spray the entire surrounding area with rap or heavy metal at 2:00am as the Thais enjoy doing. I also noticed the Lao appear to have no interest in western pop, rock or rap music. All I ever heard being played as I walked past peoples' homes and open-air restaurants was either Lao traditional music or Thai country music, both of which are kinder on the ears and nerves.

It's probably common knowledge that Luang Prabang is a Unesco World Heritage site, so many old buildings are preserved and the town doesn't have any heavy traffic, it's also very clean, something my Thai wife immediately noticed and commented on favorably. Plus a 11:30pm closing of all bars, pubs, and restaurants, prevents Luang Prabang from degrading into a "party town". The big attraction is Luang Prabang's famous night market, which must be one of the most delightful night markets in Asia. There are countless stalls selling material, clothes, artifacts, and knicknacks. I found shopping there very much like Bali inasmuch you'll be initially quoted double or triple the accepted price. It's my experience in Thailand that you'll generally be quoted 25-30% more and you can haggle down that little extra margin, but in Luang Prabang, for example, I would be initially quoted 500 Baht for something and as I walked away the girl would call out 300 Baht, then 200 Baht, then 100 Baht. But I wasn't really interested in buying anything as I've lived in Asia for 30 years and have already bought most of these items several times before but serious shoppers are well advised to bargain long and hard at Luang Prabang's night market. You can also dine and drink at a few shops/stalls in and around the night market. There's a very cheap vegetarian buffet for 5,000 Kip, but be warned you only get one saucer-sized plate for that. I watched other people piling their plates high, but as I always think it looks greedy to load up too much at buffets, I just put a few small serves on my plate thinking I can always go back for more. As I headed towards the spread for my second helping the stall owner soon alerted me to the fact I need to pay again to eat again. We ate again at this vegetarian buffet the following evening but this time my plate resembled the Tower of Babel. Other noteworthy attractions that shouldn't be missed include the Royal Palace Museum, adjacent to the night market, the 100-meter high Phu Si temples, which you'll be able to see from virtually any spot in Luang Prabang, and the 500-year old charming grey chedi at Wat Visoun, which, conveniently, was situated right opposite our guest-house.

Undoubtedly the most popular day-trip from Luang Prabang is to the Pak Ou caves and the whisky village, the average price of a tour by boat is 80,000 Kip each, we booked the tour for our last free day but unfortunately it was raining in the morning so we canceled and cheerfully received a full refund (try that in Thailand). However, later in the morning the hot sun broke through the clouds so I hired a tuk-tuk to take us on the same trip for 180,000 Kip. First we visited the whisky making village, where they sell a few different types of local moonshine for average prices of 50-100 Baht a bottle, plus home-weave material and clothes. It's well worth spending some time wandering down to the banks of the mighty Mekhong and observe the riverside lifestyle of the locals, you can also inspect the whisky stills and see the fermenting brews in large stone jars. Then on to the caves. To reach the caves we had to take a longtail across the Mekhong to the opposite bank, this cost an additional 20,000 Kip for the pair of us, then there's the entrance fees to the cave for another 20,000 Kip each, so in total the day tour cost 240,000 Kip or 1,000 Baht. The cave is small and shallow, more accurately just a grotto, and contains numerous Buddha images that have been placed there from environing temples and homes. It's an interesting trip and the surrounding Mekhong scenery is very nice too. It's interesting to note how much undeveloped and uncultivated land there is in Laos. Unlike Thailand which seems to have put virtually every square inch to use, in Laos you just need to drive for half an hour beyond the city limits to find total untouched forest with not a living soul in sight.

In Luang Prabang I found the Lao people to be very nice, considerably more polite and softer-spoken than Thais. School children for example would walk past us and smile and say "Sabai Dee" - there was none of the annoying piss-taking - "Hey You!! Farang, where you go? - Ha Ha Ha!!!" - that you get in Thailand. Same goes for the groups of Lao schoolgirls or teenagers that we passed, usually they just weren't interested in us but if they did acknowledge us it was a smile and "Sabai Dee" - with none of that stupid "snicker-snicker-snicker, Hee, Hee, Hee, giggle-giggle-giggle" that Thai girls find so necessary to engage in. I've already heard all the excuses for Thai behavior uncountable times: "They're not used to seeing foreigners" (Oh yeah?) "They're just being friendly" (Oh yeah, since when was mocking somebody who doesn't understand your language friendly?) In this regard the difference between Thailand and Laos was vastly noticeable and due, I suspect to some extent, to Laos having being colonized and Thailand not. I also noticed that most Lao people spoke English far better than most Thais do. Admittedly I encountered some Lao who had virtually zero English skills but the ones I met who spoke English had close to total fluency with clearer pronunciation and better aural comprehension. This intrigued me, especially as I have been involved in English language training in Thailand for the past 20 plus years and have long been puzzled over the painfully slow progress of virtually all Thai students, except for nursery and kindy kids. Perhaps as Laos is a less affluent country than Thailand the Lao feel they need to try harder to succeed, and on the other hand perhaps they are just a tad brighter, which, if the case, would be ironic as I only recently found out that Thai history books, used in schools throughout the kingdom, teach Thai school children that Laotians are intellectually inferior to Thais. I also found the Lao have no trouble understanding me when I spoke to them in Thai (the 2 languages, Thai and Lao, are very similar). After living in Thailand for so many years I can speak and read the language pretty well, yet so many Thai just won't listen when I speak to them. It's as if they throw up a mental barrier - "He's a farang, farang can't speak Thai, I can't speak Farang, please go away from me" and just refuse to listen or tune in. I've often had to literally force people to listen to me - "Stop! Listen to me, I'm speaking Thai to you, listen to what I say." Then they get it - "Oh, khun poot Thai geng" (You speak Thai very well - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!!!) But this ridiculous situation just never happened in Laos, not this trip, nor last trip, I spoke in Thai/Lao and people answered me in Thai/Lao, the whole communication process went smoothly and hiccup free. I was also treated as an individual and the Lao spoke directly to me and not about me through my Thai wife: one of several things that infuriates me in Thailand.

Luang Prabang is a considerable distance from Vientiane (385 KM) and the roads in Laos are rough with many potholes and numerous snaking bends, plus buses are inferior, slower, more prone to breakdowns and fares more expensive than in Thailand, so I do not recommend doing what we did and that's turning around after 3 days and taking the bus all the way back to Vientiane again. On my previous trip 3 years earlier I had bused from Vientiane - Vang Vieng - Luang Prabang, then took the slow boat for 2 days/nights up the Mekhong and went back into Thailand at Chiang Rai. I would have prefered to have done the same this trip but my wife soon had to return to work so it was a 12-hour bus ride back to Vientiane. There are 2 options for buses on this route: the double-decker VIP buses for 160,000 Kip each and the "King of Bus" Express buses (a misnomer if every I've heard one) at 140,000 Kip. We took the Express, not because they're cheaper but because we were told the Express buses are a bit faster than the double-deckers, which naturally have to navigate the bends with a bit of extra caution. Anyway, the ride turned into one of those "journeys from hell". Not since traveling on Sumatran buses in the late 1970s have I had to sit through such a hellish trip. The bus was supposed to depart at 6:30am but didn't set off until 7:45am, as soon as it left many Lao started puking into the small plastic bags thatwere handed out. For the entire 12 hours these fellow passengers produced seemingly endless trickles of vomit as they leaned forward with their faces in the plastic bags, noisily reaching whilst their companions comforted them with soothing pats to their backs. Naturally, after being confronted with all this grossness, soon I also felt the need to vomit, so when the bus made its next stop (it stopped frequently for periods of several minutes) I discreetly walked away to a quiet spot and emptied my stomach into a drain, washed my face and rinsed my mouth with water from the bottle I carried in my hand, then returned to my seat feeling infinitely better. I couldn't help thinking for the remainder of the journey, as the nearby puking Lao filled their plastic bags, why they couldn't also behave in a more discreet manner as I had done. There was also a guard on the bus, armed with a folding stock AK47, I was told by another passenger that Mon bandits who live in the mountains sometimes stick-up these Lao buses.

It was nearly 8:00pm by the time we got off that damn awful bus at Vientiane's bus station and that's a hell of a time to be walking around looking for a hotel room, my usual favorite, the Pornthip Guest House, was full so I eventually found the Phoxay Hotel around the corner who did me a room for two for 700 Baht: a room that was approximately the size of most hotel bathrooms. It was a 3/4 sized bed with about 12 inches of space around it but it was late and we were both worn out, so after a tasty dinner in a riverside restaurant and a few cold bottles of Beer Lao we went back to the dog kennel and collapsed. The following morning we did our final shopping in Vientiane's Talad Chao (Morning Market - but it's open all day) You can get some bargains there but like Luang Prabang's night market you have to bargain hard. Some of the prices are absurd, especially so if you are continuing on into Thailand. As an example I was interested in some fake jeans but the various shops were still asking 600-700-800 Baht a pair after haggling them down from their ridiculous starting prices of over 1,000 Baht, you can buy similar items in Thailand's Big C or Tesco Lotus for 250-350 Baht. Wine's a good buy in Vientiane so we got a 3-liter cask of Italian Rose in a supermarket, at 450 Baht it's almost half the price it would be in Thailand. There are many guest-houses in Vientiane, ranging from Spartan rooms to comfortable resort-style buildings, one of the nicest is Malinamphu Guest House, just a short walk from the fountain, the only problem is this guest-house is so nice and so popular there are rarely vacancies, but anybody planning a stay in Vientiane and looking for reasonable accommodation (under 1,000 Baht a night) should check out the Malinamphu. The guest house has its own website with photos, relevant information, and email addresses and phone numbers for reservations. We had lunch at the fantastic vegetarian buffet restaurant next to the Lao National Cultural Hall. This buffet costs 80 Baht each for as much delicious tasty food as you want, they offer many Thai/Lao style dishes with rice, plus a salad bar and some fresh fruit and desserts. Iced drinking water is provided free but other drinks, including beer, can be bought.

Following lunch our holiday was now over, so I chartered a tuk-tuk for 300 Baht to the Friendship Bridge, then across the Mekhong back into Thailand, a new chop in my passport from a stone-faced unsmiling unfriendly Thai immigration official, who looked more like he was about to sentence me to death rather than welcome a tourist for a pleasant stay in his country. Then it was another tuk-tuk to our car that we had left in the Tesco Lotus car-park a week earlier and a 2-hour drive, finally back again on the proper side of the road, back home to Khon Kaen.

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The Truly Wise Man Never Plays Leapfrog With A Unicorn