Jeez Ali, I just can't begin to think how you got through saying that - I'm sitting here reading it and the tears are just rolling. I've lost both my mum and dad although it's been nearly 10 years now since my mum died (12 since dad) but there are still times when it hits me and this is one of them.

I had to get a close friend to do a reading at my mum's funeral as there was no way I could do it and be coherent so you should be so proud for managing to get through it for your dad.. Believe me that time is a great healer but there will be occasions when it's hard and they tend to come out of the blue (like tonight!!). What I did find was having been through this, when a friend then loses someone close you can understand what they are going through and help them in a way that someone who hasn't had the misfortune to experience it can't.

This is all a bit rambly because I'm a bit weepy so I'm going to go and give Terry (husband) a big hug and probably cry on his shoulder and he'll think I'm being silly but I'll feel better afterwards. I'll then recall some good memories and end up smiling at them and that's what you do to get through it.

I hope this hasn't made you feel worse, it isn't meant to! It really is to say that there is nothing wrong in feeling as you do and it's good to talk about it. We English have a reputation for a stiff upper lip and keeping our thoughts to oursleves. Well, b****** to that!!!

Have a bloody good cry, have a few drinks and plan a holiday to Thailand to raise a glass to your Dad in your favourite places.

God, I'm going now as I sound as if I am really p***** and I'm not!!!

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Alison

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It's Better to Burn Out than just to Fade Away!